Posts Tagged ‘kids say the darndest things’

No Fart Foods For Mommy!

So last night Meg, Hubby and I were making dinner when Meg came up to me with a piece of paper!

“I wrote a book Mommy!”

“Really?” I said “what’s the title?”

Meg shoved a bright red piece of paper in my face and quickly spurted out the title followed by a cheeky giggle.

“No Fart Foods For Mommy!”

Immediately hubby began to snicker and I could feel a smile start to creep across my face too!

“Really? Hmm… well let’s see it then shall we!”

I took the piece of paper and instantly began to chuckle!

NO FART FOODS FOR MOMMY was written not so neatly across the top of the paper followed by a list…

1. No Lentil Soup

2. No cabbage

3. No beans

Then below the list was this…

In each column I’m apparently grabbing a big bowl of the afore-mentioned “fart foods” and… well it doesn’t take long to guess the sequence of events!

Of course hubby thought it appropriate to break into a fit of laughter! *humph*

Honestly!  Like neither of them fart!   *grin*

All the things I do and this is what I get remembered for? 

 Well I nevah!

 Now pass the lentils! *wink*

 

Explaining the “Family Jewels”!

On a Sunday night our family loves to tune in and watch “Gene Simmons Family Jewels”.  Meg loves to copy Gene when he says at the beginning of the show “and that’s why it’s good to be… me!”

Well, the other night we were watching the show and after it was over Meg looked at me and asked…

“Mommy what are family jewels?”

At first I wasn’t sure what to say?

“Well Meg, it can mean a number of things… It can mean jewelry passed down through generations of family, but I think what Gene means is that his family, his wife and kids, are like his precious jewels.” 

Yeah that’s a good explanation right?! Phew! Go with it Kirst!  Except I started to think what if she decided to use these words at school?  So… I thought I better go a step further and explain the not so polite use of the word.

“Meg you have to be careful how you use the term though because some people refer to a boys private parts as “family jewels”. 

Meg started to snicker and I knew this was gonna come back to haunt me.

“Oh okay Mommy!”

 Meg was satisfied with my answers and the topic was dropped.

HOWEVER…

A few days later we had my husbands parents over for dinner and we were all sitting around talking. (You know where this is going right?!)

Meg was playing with Beary Bear, giving him spelling tests and nattering away to herself.

Erich’s mum and I were talking when Meg came up to me and asked

“Mommy what’s that name for privy parts?”

Not even thinking about our conversation I replied

“Which one Meg?  Va Jay Jay? (don’t ask! It’s a long story too *grin*)”

“No mommy J’wlz!”

It clicked! I knew exactly what she was talking about.  I looked at hubby’s mum and started laughing.

“She means family jewels!”

“Yeah THAT one! How do you spell family jewels Mommy?”

Hubby’s mum, who has a great sense of humor, started laughing and I couldn’t help but chuckle as well.

“That’s not really an appropriate spelling word Meg!”

She settled on another word and went back to playing happy as could be.

I had to laugh again later when she showed me Beary Bear’s spelling list, because there at number four was “famly juwls”.

SO tell me… what have you had to explain to your kids that came back to haunt you?

I Guess I Need To Get Proactiv

proactive-1

Meggers:  “Mommy you know that thing on your nose?”

Me:  “Huh? Oh you mean the pimple?”

Meggers:  “Yeah”    Points to the TV   “you need some of that.”

I glance up at the TV to see a Proactiv commercial. You know the one that shows celebs like Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt admitting that gasp, shock, horror, they once had acne until the use of this product

.  I look over at Meggers and see the complete innocence and honesty in her face and I can’t help but crack a smile. 

Me: “Thanks Meg!”

She smiles back, leans in and gives me a kiss. “Your Welcome Mommy!” 

I’m still smiling at Meggers, she’s still smiling at me, she leans in to give me another kiss, studying my face to see if she’s getting her point across ever so innocently.  I guess the kiss is to soften the blow and I can’t stop grinning.

Meggers:  “It helps people Mommy! You send a picture in and then you use it and send another picture.  See mommy you can call and order it today, it helped those people!”  Again pointing at the TV and leaning in for a kiss and I can’t help but giggle, grab her and give her a huge kiss and hug.

Me:  “I love you Meg-a-moo!”

Meg:  “I love you too mommy.”

How can I get mad at this face….

IMG_0321

Although, at some point I think I’m going to have to explain advertising to her, because she loves commercials and believes every word.  Ahhh to be young and innocent!  Next she’ll be asking if I ever get that not so fresh feeling? Sigh!

On a side note, somehow wordpress erased my blog roll so if you were on it before and would like to be on it again please send me your link either by email or in the comment area. Thanks!

Meggers has legal representation…..

Meggers this morning had me laughing on the way to school, here’s how our conversation went….

“Meggers you know it’s Mommy and Daddy’s anniversary on Wednesday, the day of your field trip.”

“It IS Mommy?”

 “yep Daddy and I will’ve been married eight years and together ten.”

(Meggers stops and thinks for a moment)

“It’s mine and Cameron’s too!”

“what do you mean?”

“Me and Cameron are married Mommy, it’s our anniversary too.”

“Meg you can’t marry your cousin, he’s family, you need to marry someone like Dylan or Julian…”

“I can marry both Mommy (Meg starts talking with herself in the back seat… Cameron.  What?  Do you take Meghan to be your wife?  I do.  Meghan do you take Cameron to be your husband?  Yep I do).”

“Meg Cam’s your cousin you can’t really marry him, but you can pretend.”

Meg was quiet for a few minutes and then came out with this beauty.

“Mommy Mr. Nobody’s my Lawyer.”

Meggers has an imaginary friend called Mr. Nobody, who has a Fairly Odd Parent, Fairy named Poof, it’s a long story.  I almost pee’d my pants, laughing, on one hand I was thinking she’s gonna get a lawyer so she can marry her cousin and on the other thought Wow that’s pretty smart.  However after chatting with her a little further….

“Meg why do you need a lawyer?”

“He’s gonna be the one who marries us.”

“Oohhhh Meggers that’s not a lawyer that’s a pastor or a priest.”

“Mommy Mr. Nobody is going to be my priest and poof will be the pastor.”

Now how to break it to her 9 year old cousin Cameron?  Somehow I don’t think he’ll be game..lol

 

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